April 22, 2025

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I sit here as he sleeps on after the LP (lumbar puncture), and my eyes fill with tears, and I think how we are back here again.  In some ways we have slipped back into the hospital routine but it is not the same.

The past couple of days Marlon's spirits have been a bit lower.  He figures he is missing out on at least a year of life.  He was at a certain place and now he isn't.  He is sad for the life he lost and worried how far behind he will be on the other side. 

And he feels bad physically.  He can't really say how, just bad from head to toe.  When people ask how he is, he struggles to answer. He is five years older this time and has a much deeper understanding of life.  He worries about the future.  How will he find meaningful work that he can support himself with?  To be fair, that is a question haunting many people nowadays.

His weight was down another kilo and his blood sugar is still all over but he did get down to 14 at one point today.  They have taken him off extra liquids so he is not connected to the IV.  We went outside for a walk, bringing the wheelchair.  I did suggest several times that he take a ride but he mostly walked.  Not a long walk and he lay down in the grass for a while but by the time we got back, he was wiped out.  Pale and completely spent.

A neat driftwood boat on the grounds of McMaster university. 

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