April 18, 2025

-

When Marlon completed treatment last time, he didn’t feel like he did anything.  It was the nurses, doctors, and drugs that did everything.  He may have endured treatment but he didn’t feel like his healing was a result of anything he did.

I know as outsiders, we want to do something in situations we can't change.  Whether the death of a loved one or sickness.  And “I’m sorry” can only go so far.  There is a feeling of helplessness when we can’t do more. It’s an interesting thing, the feelings surrounding a dramatic event.  It’s ok to feel sorry but not too sorry.  It’s ok to have sympathy, just not too much.  Marlon’s life has been hijacked but at this point, life goes on.  Our lives continue.  

Our hearts ache for the pain of others. And so many people suffer in so many ways.

Last time around, Marlon had a friend that was enduring his own health trials and they would compare to see who’s suffering was worse.  Of course you can’t compare lives but in our own way, we often do.

A much better day today.  His energy levels were more consistently on the higher end.  They haven't been this good in about a week and a half.  His blood pressure was high since admission and that seems to have calmed down.  His platelets have been low, to the point where he needed a few transfusions.  Today he didn’t need one.  I know we are only at the beginning but it was a relatively pleasant Good Friday.


A duck in the pond a couple of weeks ago

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

November 10, 2022 (2)

-
Image
Today, I dropped Marlon off at outdoor school and met up with a friend I have only seen a handful of times in the last 20+ years.  She was in the area for the passing of a family member. i then went for a walk with Mina.  I watched and she poised herself in hunting position and pounced.  I saw a squirrel run up a tiny little tree but also heard this pitiful whining.  At first, confused, I wondered if she had pounced on a nest in the ground.  But the dog ran to me, crying and whining, holding up her paw.  We were a ways from home and she hobbled carefully home after we sat for a while and she calmed down.  She will often run the perimeter of fields, running this way and that.  I saw her longing to run the field as we made our way back but she was uncomfortable and limping. A short while later, I went to pick up Marlon and watched in amazement as he hobbled to the car.  Yes, he had hurt his foot within an hour of the dog hurting herself.  ...
Read more

July 5, 2022

-
Image
Decision was made that Marlon was to go check blood counts on Monday.  We drove down to Hamilton together, quick finger poke, and then leave again.  A couple of times, we drove around the parking garage for almost a half-hour looking for a spot, but Monday was smooth.  Busy place. Blood counts are good so dental work begins.  Marlon's doctor was impressed with the dentist when she spoke with him last week.  In support, I sit next to him in the dentist's room and hope my own anxiety, discomfort, and fear don't affect him. Halfway through the drilling of four teeth which was quite intense, they took a little break to check in with Marlon and see if he was up to continue.  He agreed to do more but said he was most concerned about the tastes of the filling material.  With the pain and discomfort of the first part, one would think that would be the least of his worries but he is very sensitive to taste and flavour.  As it turned out he didn't gag or re...
Read more

July 7, 2022

-
Image
On May 23rd, the week before the chemo that weakened Marlon enough to put him in the hospital, the dog, the boy, and I drove to Montreal. (I am aware of the use of the word 'go' when writing. In German, the verb 'to go' means walking. You don't 'go' in a car.) Before we left, as I was packing up the car, I noticed a fair sized spider web between the driver's side view mirror and the car. I left it alone, figuring the wind would blow it off. It was so nice to see Linsy and Moira and spend time with them. I have missed having Linsy around. It was neat that, when we got there, Olivia, Jamey, and Roka, their dog, were there. They live 15 minutes away from us but were there visiting their son. Mina was definitely happy to see Roka (and all the others too).   Mina got used to walking on sidewalks and being in the city. Other people and dogs, not so much. Moira has given me a belt with a dog lead on it for hands-free walking. It worked but was even bett...
Read more