Lovingheart

When Marlon completed treatment last time, he didn’t feel like he did anything.  It was the nurses, doctors, and drugs that did everything.  He may have endured treatment but he didn’t feel like his healing was a result of anything he did. I know as outsiders, we want to do something in situations we can't change.  Whether the death of a loved one or sickness.  And “I’m sorry” can only go so far.  There is a feeling of helplessness when we can’t do more. It’s an interesting thing, the feelings surrounding a dramatic event.  It’s ok to feel sorry but not too sorry.  It’s ok to have sympathy, just not too much.  Marlon’s life has been hijacked but at this point, life goes on.  Our lives continue.   Our hearts ache for the pain of others. And so many people suffer in so many ways. Last time around, Marlon had a friend that was enduring his own health trials and they would compare to see who’s suffering was worse.  Of course you ca...

It is shocking to see how sick he is. Not sick in the vomiting sense but so zapped of energy that he will wake up, walk to washroom, back again and sleep. Sometimes awake for 20 minutes like when the doctor came this morning to let us know his treatment plan. Chemo has started and I hope he comes back to life. Right now the leukemia is destroying him and it is so hard to see. I still can't believe he is back here again. The doctor said that in the past, they may have blasted the relapse very aggressively with chemo. Now it isn't nearly as aggressive a treatment. Well until you get to the bone marrow transplant (BMT). Chemo and steroids have begun and will continue for four weeks at which point they will check his marrow again. Once levels are better, immunotherapy will begin and continue for two months. Then comes the bone marrow transplant.   His brother and sister are first choice as possible donors. Blood needs to get typed and see if there is a match. All three ...

One of the first things Marlon had to do was collect sperm for freezing. Weird on so many levels. He did delight in my discomfort on the subject. I drove his sample to the fertility clinic where it was studied and then frozen in case he ever chooses to have kids. It wasn't the best or healthiest but good enough we hope.  Infertility is not guaranteed but possible. Overall, Marlon's spirits are high. Good humour though physically he feels drained and exhausted. No appetite and uncomfortable. That is just the leukemia that is still alive and well. Treatment starts soon which we hope will eradicate it again.  He had a pic line inserted. He would rather have had a port which is internal with nothing sticking out but because his platelet counts were low they choose the less invasive route. On the side of his upper arm, he has the lines hanging out. Still it is better than IV. He had a couple IVs inserted and used and was poked several times and that is much more painful....

 Confirmed today that the leukemia is back full force. Because of how fast and aggressively it came on, they are starting treatment immediately. She did say that without treatment he wouldn't live long. He is understandably upset as are we all.  Bone marrow transplant may be necessary.  No complete treatment protocol yet as they still need to hear back the exact kind of ALL it is. Extremely likely it is Philadelphia positive like it was last time. I have been in denial that this was true. I really hoped they had made a mistake.  No mistake It shocks me how fast his blood levels have gone completely out of whack Marlon has been asked about saving sperm. Not sure any fertility will survive what is coming.

 April 14, 2025 When Marlon first started cancer treatment back in 2020, the cancer just seemed to flee from his body. We're outta here! We continued through the treatment prescribed and I really believed cancer was a thing of the past. We went to our follow up visits and his blood work was great.  Anytime anyone has asked me, ‘How’s your son doing?’. I responded that he was a healthy, normal, teenage boy. Healthy, vibrant, strong, active, with an expected dose of attitude and rebellion mixed in. The very end of March, Marlon pointed out a little bump on the back of his head. Then his lymph glands under his jaw were swollen. Looks like mono. Around that time, a girl at work mentioned her dog with swollen lymph glands which turned out to be cancer. I had a moment of panic and called the oncology department. He was just there for a regular checkup February 27th. His blood work is great. Go to your family doctor.   Doctor said it looks like mono. Get blood wor...