April 17, 2021

-

 I find myself upset at this barbaric cancer treatment to be ravaging the body and causing all these problems.  And yet I know that, without the treatment at the beginning, he would likely no longer be alive.

The What Ifs and hindsight.

I know they are not necessarily helpful but I wonder…

What if I would have gone in on Saturday or even Monday afternoon?  And I know I can't beat myself up but I knew something was up, this weekend was spent feeling concern. And yet in the past things have been so smooth and I question the other visits to emergency, were they really necessary?

The night was still spent up every hour and this pooing thing can be pretty messy.  A couple of times we went through the process, got him back in bed and he realizes he needs to go again.  And then, we don't always fall back asleep immediately.  It can take time no matter how tired I am.  He also had a Charley horse a couple of times.  That needs lots of massaging and takes time to resolve.  So I spend longer in bed in the hopes of catching more sleep time.

But it looks like there are answers.  The doctor is quite sure it is blood in his stools.  Apparently, blood is a laxative.  This explains where all the blood and platelet transfusions are going.  Now to figure out where the GI distress is and what they will do about it.  The doctor mentioned possibly needing a feeding tube again.  Marlon will be so upset if it comes to that.  I sure don't like the thought either but we will see.

And then there is the whole movement issue.  Because he has been feeling so unwell, Marlon has spent more time curled up in his chair at home.  It looks like his leg muscles have started to seize up.  Thus, he can't stand straight with whole foot on the ground.  He has had physio in to see him a couple of times and he cries.  He doesn't want to do the work and it is uncomfortable.  He can't walk more than a couple of steps and that hurts.  He isn't moving his upper body or arms much because of all the tubes and wires attached.  I keep reminding him if he doesn't do something now, it will get worse and cause more pain down the road.

At one point in the night, Marlon was moaning and restless in his sleep.  As he came around he said, 'I learned a lot of power-ups in this bed'.  Hmm, interesting dream?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

July 7, 2022

-
Image
On May 23rd, the week before the chemo that weakened Marlon enough to put him in the hospital, the dog, the boy, and I drove to Montreal. (I am aware of the use of the word 'go' when writing. In German, the verb 'to go' means walking. You don't 'go' in a car.) Before we left, as I was packing up the car, I noticed a fair sized spider web between the driver's side view mirror and the car. I left it alone, figuring the wind would blow it off. It was so nice to see Linsy and Moira and spend time with them. I have missed having Linsy around. It was neat that, when we got there, Olivia, Jamey, and Roka, their dog, were there. They live 15 minutes away from us but were there visiting their son. Mina was definitely happy to see Roka (and all the others too).   Mina got used to walking on sidewalks and being in the city. Other people and dogs, not so much. Moira has given me a belt with a dog lead on it for hands-free walking. It worked but was even bett...
Read more

November 10, 2022 (2)

-
Image
Today, I dropped Marlon off at outdoor school and met up with a friend I have only seen a handful of times in the last 20+ years.  She was in the area for the passing of a family member. i then went for a walk with Mina.  I watched and she poised herself in hunting position and pounced.  I saw a squirrel run up a tiny little tree but also heard this pitiful whining.  At first, confused, I wondered if she had pounced on a nest in the ground.  But the dog ran to me, crying and whining, holding up her paw.  We were a ways from home and she hobbled carefully home after we sat for a while and she calmed down.  She will often run the perimeter of fields, running this way and that.  I saw her longing to run the field as we made our way back but she was uncomfortable and limping. A short while later, I went to pick up Marlon and watched in amazement as he hobbled to the car.  Yes, he had hurt his foot within an hour of the dog hurting herself.  ...
Read more

July 5, 2022

-
Image
Decision was made that Marlon was to go check blood counts on Monday.  We drove down to Hamilton together, quick finger poke, and then leave again.  A couple of times, we drove around the parking garage for almost a half-hour looking for a spot, but Monday was smooth.  Busy place. Blood counts are good so dental work begins.  Marlon's doctor was impressed with the dentist when she spoke with him last week.  In support, I sit next to him in the dentist's room and hope my own anxiety, discomfort, and fear don't affect him. Halfway through the drilling of four teeth which was quite intense, they took a little break to check in with Marlon and see if he was up to continue.  He agreed to do more but said he was most concerned about the tastes of the filling material.  With the pain and discomfort of the first part, one would think that would be the least of his worries but he is very sensitive to taste and flavour.  As it turned out he didn't gag or re...
Read more