Talking Back

-

LB has started to undo the top portion of her car seat while the car is moving and lift herself up with her arms, turn around to look behind us, reach forward to open the window and all sorts of things she isn’t ‘supposed’ to do.

Today I noticed her doing these things (all of the above) and I asked her to sit still in her seat and sit back. She continued to lift herself up so I said ‘LINSY!!’ in a stern way with my voice slightly raised. I don’t know if she changed her position or not but she said to me ‘Don’t yell at me!... Yell at Paco.’ Right – what am I supposed to say to that? I just laughed to myself and ignored her for the short bit that was left of the trip.

Not terribly consistent I suppose. Asking her to do something and then ignoring her when she ignores my requests. This kind of back-talk really gets me. Personally how do I feel about the issue? Do I feel it’s worth getting into a fight about? How am I willing to persist or have my requests be honored? Another work in progress – I imagine my style of parenting will be continuing to grow and change and I continue to learn and change…

Comments

Anonymous said…
I find "back talk" very difficult. And I find it easy to get caught up in, because I have a child who will ask "Why?" and I'll answer, and that just opens the door to a whole bunch of reasons of his in opposition to what I've said... If the issue is a matter of safety, I'll "take him on". But if it isn't, don't I want him to have his own opinions?

Sigh. I want a manual!
4:03 pm
Lovingheart said…
Ya a manual would be great but knowing me I wouldn't follow it word for word anyway.

It is hard - not wanting to override their innate sense of individuality and not wanting to feel 'overridden'. And then of course just feeling 'why'd' out.

I was feeling rather disheartened this evening with the whole parenting stuff and everything else that goes along with it (all the other relationships in my life).

Apparently we do this to ourselves?

Shera
9:10 pm
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

July 7, 2022

-
Image
On May 23rd, the week before the chemo that weakened Marlon enough to put him in the hospital, the dog, the boy, and I drove to Montreal. (I am aware of the use of the word 'go' when writing. In German, the verb 'to go' means walking. You don't 'go' in a car.) Before we left, as I was packing up the car, I noticed a fair sized spider web between the driver's side view mirror and the car. I left it alone, figuring the wind would blow it off. It was so nice to see Linsy and Moira and spend time with them. I have missed having Linsy around. It was neat that, when we got there, Olivia, Jamey, and Roka, their dog, were there. They live 15 minutes away from us but were there visiting their son. Mina was definitely happy to see Roka (and all the others too).   Mina got used to walking on sidewalks and being in the city. Other people and dogs, not so much. Moira has given me a belt with a dog lead on it for hands-free walking. It worked but was even bett...
Read more

November 10, 2022 (2)

-
Image
Today, I dropped Marlon off at outdoor school and met up with a friend I have only seen a handful of times in the last 20+ years.  She was in the area for the passing of a family member. i then went for a walk with Mina.  I watched and she poised herself in hunting position and pounced.  I saw a squirrel run up a tiny little tree but also heard this pitiful whining.  At first, confused, I wondered if she had pounced on a nest in the ground.  But the dog ran to me, crying and whining, holding up her paw.  We were a ways from home and she hobbled carefully home after we sat for a while and she calmed down.  She will often run the perimeter of fields, running this way and that.  I saw her longing to run the field as we made our way back but she was uncomfortable and limping. A short while later, I went to pick up Marlon and watched in amazement as he hobbled to the car.  Yes, he had hurt his foot within an hour of the dog hurting herself.  ...
Read more

July 5, 2022

-
Image
Decision was made that Marlon was to go check blood counts on Monday.  We drove down to Hamilton together, quick finger poke, and then leave again.  A couple of times, we drove around the parking garage for almost a half-hour looking for a spot, but Monday was smooth.  Busy place. Blood counts are good so dental work begins.  Marlon's doctor was impressed with the dentist when she spoke with him last week.  In support, I sit next to him in the dentist's room and hope my own anxiety, discomfort, and fear don't affect him. Halfway through the drilling of four teeth which was quite intense, they took a little break to check in with Marlon and see if he was up to continue.  He agreed to do more but said he was most concerned about the tastes of the filling material.  With the pain and discomfort of the first part, one would think that would be the least of his worries but he is very sensitive to taste and flavour.  As it turned out he didn't gag or re...
Read more